Newsletter - Autumn 2000

Letting go......With Thanksgiving

Must let go, must put this behind me.
It's too much to carry, too burdensome.
It's distracting me from the present.
Keeping me locked in the past.

But if I could hang on just a little longer
Maybe I could make it better, fix it,
make the picture just look a bit neater.
If I could just say, "See, I did it really well.
Look how clean it is, how pretty".
Then I'd be happy to let it go.

But my only choice is to face the reality
That it's over, it's done, and I can't change it.
I look at it all and I can't change one moment.
In fact, why do I need to change it?
Who am i trying to help, protect?
Who am I reaching out to for love?
Then I finally see. I can feel the relief.

They did the best they could in the situation.
I did the best with what I knew.
In fact, I was really smart, caring, creative.
I found phenomenal ways to cope.
The way I coped became a pattern,
A way of understanding the world and others,
And of being for them.
That is now both gift and problem.

I reflect with the beautiful child
As she tells me how she grew up too quickly.
Lost childhood, became adult too soon.
How she has given herself away,
In order to make things right.

I walk with her as she reflects, names, owns
Every part of her story.
Till she begins to accept all the others
just as they were.
Now she has no need to change or fix.
She tells them how hurt and angry she felt
But she thanks them for their love
Given according to their capability.

Suddenly she can release the burden,
Give it back to the adults,
And move on to use the gifts that are hers
Because of that story.

Suddenly I am free
to love myself, my own being, my own life.
I am free
To give thanks to the Creator of us all.

"...I am fearfully, wonderfully made..."
(Psalm 139)

- Monica

The Horn of Plenty

The somewhat somber season of fall is once more upon us. Darkness fills the skies where once there was sun and brightness, and now the rains begin to fall. It definitely is a change of season.

Our bodies are so in tune with the rhythm of the earth, which in St. Paul's phrase, is "ever groaning in the act of giving birth", that the quiet season of expectation settles not only on our world and nature, but seeps into the very roots of our being. Fall is a time for change, a time of waiting, a time of rebirth. But the new birth and the new life can only take place if we know how to nurture those hidden roots of our being as they lie dormant in the state of expectation and newness. How do we nurture and nourish those deeply buried roots, which we have all but forgotten, as they continually search for the life-giving waters that bring new life, new energy? We pick up the rhythm of the earth and collect the cherished memories of a year gone by.

Another year has passed. For every one of us it has been a year filled with so much living, hopefully of joy and happiness, but perhaps of pain, and even suffering. So often we let these treasured memories fall carelessly through our fingers, just as the many leaves flutter silently to the ground. The leaves have fulfilled their destiny of clothing our trees in grandeur and splendor. Their season is past. They die, and are gathered up to be burned.

For us, fall is not only a change of season, but it is also harvest time, a time of thanksgiving, when we celebrate the "horn of plenty". Harvest time is a time of thanksgiving, not only for the fruits of the earth and the trees, but more so for the meaningful memories of a year gone by, and especially those memories that have awakened new life and have watered those deeply buried roots within us.

At Thanksgiving we are challenged to rustle through those forgotten memories, as we would the fallen leaves, to find those that are filled with the color of new energy and summon us to radical hope.

At Bountyfull, it is a time to say thanks to God, our Maker, for the gift of our lives and yours.

Larry Mackey O.M.I.
Director